Terminal 17A O'Hare Airport

I held out till 10:45. But most of that was due to the horribly complicated nature of the Wi-Fi in Chicago. Creating user names and paying and what-not. But thanks to the heroic efforts of my father I will not go into Facebook withdraw (even though I have it on my phone) and you will get to hear about this next leg of my journey.
Fortunately I was not seated next to the flower-smelling woman on my flight from Indianapolis, but next to an older gentleman who asked me if I had a pen he could borrow before we took off, filled in three words of his cross word, and promptly fell asleep. Holding my pen. Which he gave back after he was jolted awake by the landing of our plane. This is the only significant thing that occured on the flight. No cookies, no pretzels, no coke, nada. What is the point of a flight with out these things, I don't know what air-travel is coming to.
My arrival in Chicago made up for the boringness of my flight. I am currently on hour three of my seven hour layover, and due to this dramatic amount of time, my next flight is no where to be found on the departure board. I was told that I should probably hang  out around terminals 16 and 17 on concourse B, so that's where I am. But for some reason this airport seems to have a distinct lack of outlets. So I wandered the concourse looking for one. With my carry-ons. Making it quite obvious I have never done this before. Luckily I am still in the United States, where my incapabilities don't automatically peg me for a easy target to steal, or some such thing.
While sitting in my terminal, surrounded by a lot of people speaking Japanese (I'm pretty sure that's the next flight out of 17B) I complied a list of observations.
1. If you are wearing enough lipstick to stain the lid of your Starbuck's cup bright pink, you are wearing too much.
2. If your flight leaves at 6:15AM, and you don't speak English well, you should arrive at security well before 6:00AM. Especially if you have small children and don't empty their sippy cups, which are well over three ounces.
3. If you have small kids that run around like they have nothing better to do then knock over innocent 18-year old girls, who are stressed out enough about traveling by themselves for the first time, put them on a leash.
4. If you are going to use the moving sidewalk thing and still walk while you're on it, make sure you time it so you don't fall when you try to get off.
5. If you just want a plain old regular coke, make sure it's worth the energy to talk 52358245305902 miles around the concourse to find one.

Time to go check the Departure Board again. A huge group just cleared out for Honolulu, so I could possibly find some information on my flight now. But maybe not, the lady from United did say that the people from Ldskjbgfuisghr( I'm not sure the name of the airline I'm flying on next, but it starts with 'L' ) don't usually show up till two hours before the flight, which means I still have at least one, maybe two. If I get bored enough I might be back to ramble again. If not I'll be writing from Word of Life HUNGARY next!